My experiences, thoughts, desires, and observations.
I'm simple, yet complex. I know, yet I'm still learning who I am. I'm wise, yet naiive. I am changing, but remaining the same. I'm Distant & I love it


The World…

The world has a way of changing you…making you hard and calloussed. It can change the person you’re becoming…filling you with malice. The attitude you develop, isn’t the Christian way. Sometimes you just want to leave…but you’re forced to stay. It’s hard to keep giving when you feel you don’t receive…hard to keep the faith when the world doesn’t believe. Hard to forgive, even when you’re hurting…hard to feel like you’re even deserving. Hard not to be angry that people don’t see your pain…hard to turn the other cheek and not be filled with disdain. The world has a way of making an extrovert an introvert and it’s a struggle to ignore circumstance…the world has a way of suffocating your passion, silencing your voice and stopping your dance.
The fire in me has been reduced to a mere smolder. Lately I’m having trouble finding a flame. The world likes to erase color. It shades everything the same. The world makes the days dark and cloudy. Artificial light is the source of brightness. I can’t even find that. I don’t desire it’s likeness. Joy commeth in the morning. The world has taken my days. Driven away my sunshine. Nothing good stays. The world has blinded my sight. The world has darkend my spirit. My soul is crying out. The world doesn’t want me to hear it.
The world has turned my life into madness and haze, BUT I’ll be damned if I let the world come and steal my praise.

Disaster Porn: My American Addiction

I LOVE CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION SHOWS!!! I started with Law and Order: Special Victim’s Unit, and have now expanded to Bones, Cold Case, and NCIS. I don’t know if I like them because every case is solved, if I am fascinated with the science, if I am in love with the actual investigating, or if I have been brainwashed like the rest of America to feed off of death, despair, and bad news. It is because of the possibility of the ladder that I have started weaning myself off of my favorite shows. 

My process, and critical thinking on why I watch these shows, started 3 months ago one day while watching SVU. Like every episode, someone had been brutally raped and killed. This episode though was focused on a serial rapist who was already in jail, and the investigators was using him to understand the psyche of a copy cat that was re-surfacing after a few years. The rapist was vividly reliving his days of “work” and I grew uncomfortable, but it wasn’t because of what he was saying. I was watching the show with someone who I knew had been a victim of sexual assault. I glanced at my company, watched their body movement, and their eyes. Noticed how discomfort krept through them and how the atmosphere had changed in the room. I didn’t say anything. This had happened before; this person liked the show as much as I did, and I had noticed the discomfort before as well. I only felt this way, however, when this person or another sexual assault victim was in my presence during this show. That day, instead of just working my way through it and watching the show, I drifted into my own psyche, and asked myself why I went out of my way to watch a show on something that made me cringe when faced with it in real life. That is not to say that person made me cringe, but to know their story and how much it hurt them, made me literally want to kill on their behalf. If that is the case, why did I choose to fill my free afternoons watching a show about the victimization of other people in the same fashion? An even better question is why did I only feel uncomfortable when I knew someone else in the room could be caused extreme sadness while watching the show? Why not when they weren’t present?

I realized that I was allowing myself to be desensitized to something horrific that happens everyday in society. I realized that I only felt sincerely sick about it when it hit home for me. I realized that I, like so many other Americans, was only concerned when this life altering crime was committed to someone I loved. On that day, more than ever before, I was disappointed in myself. I have always prided myself on being the type of person who could look beyond myself, my own problems, my own social location, and sympathize with those who faced things I never had to. I didn’t want to be this person…I didn’t want to be a situational ally.

So…I stopped watching SVU. Simultaneously, without real thought, I dropped NCIS and Cold Case as well. The only show I have had a hard time letting go of is Bones, and I honestly think it’s because there is a story line outside of the murders and the investigations that I thoroughly enjoy (If you know me, you know I am a sucker for romance, so the budding relationships in the Smithsonian give me great pleasure).I revisit my journey, to be a better me, today…because I’ve been watching Bones all day and am seriously considering letting my show go. It’s a sad reality, but one that I might have to face. I want desperately to say “It’s one show. How can it hurt?” But in the back of my mind, I accuse myself of being the very person I despise…someone who doesn’t know where they stand in their politics. 

I’m still struggling…but I do take pride in the fact that I recognize my behavior and can examine it for what it is. What do you think? When’s the last time you called yourself out for something you were doing that you felt was wrong?









Cultural Apporiation 102

Bruno Mars. We all saw the superbowl. We all so the stolen moves from King of Pop and Rock and Roll Elvis. 

What he is doing is cultural apporiation. The way he sings, the way he dances, his hair all of it. All from a culture that bred rock music. Which was eventually sampled and turned into hip hop. (eyeroll).

 What are we to do to stop this? First we must acknowledge the wrong doing. We must work as a team to stop this. Whites and blacks. :) Team..

lol except elvis got all his music and all his moves from black people




hahahahh thought you was woke

Dumb ass.


my eyes just rolled so fucking hard

Are you fucking serious? First off, the word is appropriation. IDK what the hell apporiation is. And second off, you really need to take a course in the history of Rock and Roll…or even just in Elvis’ life! He was a poor white kid who grew up around BLUES singers! He admits that his style is highly influenced by the Black people he grew up around. Please, stop spreading personal belief based on cultural understanding of your worth and actually read a ficking book…

And ALSO, you want to talk about cultural appropriation? How about you take a look around and realize just how much of this society was ripped from the hands of Black people. From the way Christians worship through dance and song, to the way that people fry chicken. Please understand that white people did not create everything that American culture embodies. The ignorance is sickening. 


Yecunāda Cody Pata ʻunā ni Phaskentimaq Nomlāqa Winthūn bōda. Tuhenah Pōm Waykālipomin bōh bōda nitaq.
My name is Cody Pata and I am from the Paskenta Nomlaki tribe. We belong to Tehama County in Northern California.

The hash-tag #speakamerican trended like cancer across social media in response to Coca-Cola’s Super Bowl commercial which featured “America the Beautiful” sung in different languages.
This video is my native language response on how to “speak American.”

YESSSSSS! Two snaps in a circle! FOREVER REBLOG!!!!

Anonymous asked
Black people can be racist. Every person no matter what race can be racist. Don't be so ignorant and act as if you're race is somehow exempt.

Racism is a systematic approach to oppressing groups of people based on the color of their skin. Thus, to truly be a racist, you must have access to the power needed to oppress said groups of people. Thus, in America, no minority can be racist. Ignorance displayed towards people because of their skin color is a form of prejudice. Yes, minorities can be highly prejudice, judgemental, and cruel. However, as a people, no minority population has the ability to oppress anyone because of their skin color. And before you go on a tangent and list individual acts cruelty and label them oppression, this conversation is about racism as it applies to the entire society, not individual interactions that ultimately have no impact on society at large. So, in case you don’t follow this post well, here it is simple: Racism=prejudice+POWER. 

And instead of calling me ignorant, realize your own ignorance, pick up a fucking book, and read. The definition I gave you, look it up. There’s lots of literature on how the definition was created and how it is supported. I live and breathe this…I study this. Come correct next time.






Some Know Your Rights materials I made. Hopefully find them helpful. :)

Very useful!

know your rights.


Spread the knowledge…Arnold yourselves for worst case scenarios.




You cannot say that you like Pocahontas. The genocide of my people is turned into a cartoon musical with a singing raccoon?

real talk. checking myself hard.

o shat.

I officially feel like shit…who else? That’s real though.

(Source: inhumana-perfeccion)

1 Black Girl. Many Words.: Black Women & The Continuing Problem of Respectability

While the idea of Black women’s hyper-sexuality has been with us for centuries, it has been constantly evolving. As white women have made feminist gains and white women’s sexuality has been in many ways re-conceptualized to accommodate those gains, the myth of Black women’s hyper-sexuality has shifted in nature but maintained its strength.

At a time where white women such as Miley Cyrus are lauded on the basis of their outright sexuality, we are simultaneously living in a time where Black women such as Beyoncé are stigmatized for theirs. Black women’s bodies continue to be disrespected and devalued all while white women make strides.

Let’s be clear. Being sexual has never been the issue. It is the ability to be respected and sexual that is the issue.

Poor women and women of color have always been assumed to be and coerced into being sexually available for the benefit of white men as well as men of color. Only women of privilege have ever been able to use abiding to cultural norms and respectability as a means of safety. In other words, only women who were deemed respectable on account of their privileged identities (race and class in particular) could then choose to abide by middle class white norms in order to further protect themselves.

So when people respond to the charge that Beyoncé wears too little clothes or is too overtly sexual by claiming that those things do not make her less “respectable” they are really not saying anything of substance. Obviously, Beyoncé’s means of expressing herself sexually does not make her not respectable if white female entertainers are doing the same thing without issue.  

We are dealing with Blackness being mutually exclusive from respectability. 

And when we claim that respectability is not important any at all we are in essence throwing in the towel. Of course, respectability is important when Black women are being attacked, abused, maligned, and disrespected because we cannot fit within the parameters of respectability. 

I am as uninterested in shaming a Black woman for her sexual choices as I am in pretending as if ideas of respectability do not impact my life and the lives of other Black women.

The rules have never been the same for Black women.